The Calendar

 

Well, as November is starting to come to an end so is my dating challenge. Here are some of the highlights from this 'entertaining' month.

I got stood-up, broke a debit machine, had many MANY glasses of beer, paid for some of those glasses of beer and heard an unforgettable hyena laugh.

My back to back dates had me feeling like I was on the next Bachelorette but without the helicopter rides or Chris Harrison to arrange dates for me and keep my men in line.  I wish I could have ended this month with a grand conclusion about love and dating but to be honest, I've come up short. I have met a lot of different men this month and while majority of them have all been good, fine dates...I feel like I am no closer to finding what I am looking for: my own Harry. What I have discovered is that dating is an adventure and I am not ready to throw in the towel quite yet. After all, December does happen to be my favourite month of the year, I may just have a Christmas themed date lined up....

Stay tuned for December!

The last laugh

I love fairy tales. They all start with 'once upon a time' and a girl can get wrapped up in that line. That's the most dangerous part..when we start thinking that the beginning is somehow a recipe for the ending. Well that's how my latest one went. My ego was bruised after my latest standup that I met this next guy online and I thought, this is it. This is my happily ever after.

Unfortunately I was wrong, yet again. The online messages were good, I even happened to message this one myself, without the help of my secretary (thanks again, roommate), so how did this perfect kismet match-up end with me sitting across the table from the most horrendous laugh I have ever heard? Yes, that's right. It was the kind of laugh where I would say the most causal line and out of left field it was like a hyena joined our midst and caused all the heads in the restaurant to turn our way. Was I mortified? Yes. Did he order dinner? Yes. Was it dry ribs? Even better.

I wonder, have you ever chosen to skip the meal while your partner chose the dry ribs on the menu? I don't know if you have, but I can tell you right now that it probably the most unattractive experience. Before I start to get carried away, you should know that wings are my weakness. But will I ever order wings on a first date? No, no I won't. And furthermore, will I ever order wings when my dinner partner is ordering a liquid diet? No, I would never put someone through my finger-lickin' habits on a first date.

So now here I am. At the end of November wondering what even happened this month? It was filled with either standup's or mediocre dates. What will come of December? Part of me thinks December should be my date 'myself' month or date only 'real-life' people and put a pause on virtual people. But what  do you think? What should my December challenge be?

Your 'About me' section is literally, about me.

New lesson from online dating: People can be creepy...very, very creepy.

The other day I was surfing the online dating websites, looking for Mr. Next in November when I noticed that a cute guy had checked out my profile. So being the persuer that I am, I decided to click on his profile and take a gander at who this handsome guy was. And that's when I saw it. The guy had taken my complete profile description and written it on his "About Me" section. You know those times when you literally feel tingles go up your spine. Well this was one of those experiences. It is a very odd feeling to read your exact words on someone else's description.
So of course I took a screen shot of it. And while I realize I am now exposing to all of you my super dorky write up about myself, it was just too creepy of an experience not to share.

(The only word that he changed was "Saskatoon", I had "Vancouver"...obviously)

So I sent him a message that said "why did you copy my profile?" and next thing I know is I have gotten no response and he has now blocked me. Like I am the one that needs to be blocked!?

In the end I am left with two conclusions about this whole experience. One part of me is trying to take this as a compliment and maybe he really liked my profile and couldn't think of his own "about me" section. And another part of me is wondering why my "about me" section can also be used by a man...clearly I need to add some more feminine touches to my write up.

1 date, 2 date...3 date?

I have reached the state...the state of indecisiveness.

I told you about my first date with Mr. Artist, it all went smoothly, he was nice and said all the right things. So then last week the art gallery plans fell through and we decided to get a drink instead. Again, the date was good, nothing alarmingly wrong or off putting...and so, why am I doubting?

Originally I thought that this month of crazy dating would bring me clarity but instead it is just leaving me very confused. I have started dating people I wouldn't normally date and now I am having trouble deciding. I feel like I have lost the voice that is normally so clear and decisive. I enjoy my time with Mr. Artist, we have lots to talk about, and yet it feels so 'friend zone.' I can't quite put my finger on it but when I see him I don't get the flutters or the tingles. Something I always made a deciding factor if I would continue to date someone in the past. Has this month backfired and I am suddenly now numb to dating? Or is it because he really isn't the right one for me?

Well the month is not over yet and I am determined to find out, so stay tuned for our date number 3 of the art gallery.

Before then, I leave you with something I watched many months ago but is ever so true for me now and gives me the kick in the pants that I am needing.
Enjoy.

Good thing there are always 'to-go' cups

Where to begin with this post...

I know I am usually lighthearted and try to see the good in all experiences but last night literally left me with the feeling: being single sucks sometimes.

I rushed home from work, showered, made myself presentable, only to be left sitting by myself in a local coffee shop. I have to tell you, that is probably the worst feeling that a single person can experience. I have been cancelled on, I have gone to the millionth wedding alone, but nothing makes someone feel more alone and forgotten than sitting by themselves waiting for someone to show up who inevitably never does. Luckily the barista misheard me when I ordered my coffee and actually put it in a to-go cup rather than the mug that would have made this an even more tortuous experience...sitting and drinking until it was finished. But still, I waited the grace period of 20 minutes and then headed on my way.

As I was walking home I immediately thought about what I could have done differently...maybe I should have texted him an hour or so before to 'double check' that we were still on. But then I realized that even if he hadn't have responded back to me at that point I would have still gone. I would have still put on an outfit, dragged myself out the door and shown up, because I know (and especially now) that it is so incredibly unkind to leave someone sitting alone and waiting.

So to the guy who was suppose to meet me last night, I know that you later contacted me with the "so sorry but I forgot" text (Did I mention that the date was planned and confirmed the day before? Really, you forgot??) but let me just leave you with this: I waited for you and you never came. I think of myself as a catch and you made me doubt that. I walked all the way home thinking that for some reason I was worth missing out on.
For your sake I hope dating karma doesn't get you, because what you did to me really did suck. And in a way for that I thank you, because if you are the type of person who would do this to another, I am glad you didn't show up and put me through whatever turbulent relationship may have followed.
Thank you for leaving me in peace, to drink my coffee.

40% is a lot...

Over the past two weeks of my dating bonanza I have learned a pretty shocking tidbit about dating in this day an age. People LOVE to cancel.

40% of the men I have set up dates with have canceled on the day of. To me, that is a surprisingly large number. Now some have told me their 'legitimate' reasons while others have simply said 'something's come up' but regardless of what they write, being the fact that we have never met, I immediately just take it as most likely BS. Also, if you caught the fact that I put 'write' instead of 'say' that is because the flaking ALWAYS comes in the form of text or message...never a phone call.

Ok, so maybe I am jumping to a lot of conclusions but going on this journey I am also discovering what manners are deal breakers for me. I don't care about the opening of my door, I don't care about walking me home, I don't care about answering my texts or calls right away. But what I do care about is when you plan something with me and I arrange my other social commitments around it, cancelling is a deal breaker.

So far in my entire online dating history I have never cancelled on someone. I might have discovered that I double booked something so then days before I ask them to switch the day, but never on the day of do I ever write "sorry, something's come up and I can't make it to meet you today."

I wonder, out of the 40% that have cancelled on me, would they have still cancelled on me if our original meeting was 'in-person' rather than messages exchanged online? Does meeting people online allow others to not view you as a real person but rather an avatar? I feel like technology is really messing dating and socializing up. It is allowing people to forget that manners and feelings still exist. If you don't respond to me after we arranged somewhere to be, my natural instinct SHOULD be that you are dead, but instead its, 'I guess he met somebody else'...or would rather play video games...

To the guy on Wednesday night: I hope you are in fact not dead but instead, cozy somewhere, playing video games. Keeping your world virtual, eh?

Goodbye amusement park guys

Typical date for pre-November girl: Meet a guy who comes across as cocky. Play the cat and mouse game of number exchange...interested but not appearing TOO interested. Go on the date and impress each other with what cool people we are. And then either never hear from him again or date for a few months realizing that all we ever had was a love of the confidence in the other person.

Its hard when you get into a pattern. I feel like when I was going on dates I was always looking for something particular or for them to make me feel a particular way. But recently after starting this extreme dating November I have come to wonder...should I write a guy off if I dont feel that crazy spark right away? Is it possible to grow into a spark?

Men in my past have all repeated the same story. I go on a first date with them, we talk for hours about anything and everything, totally infactuated and then we begin a rollercoaster relationship what never lets you off nicely like the rides at PNE...no, these ones always crash and burn. So why do I always keep going to these 'amusement park' type guys?

To break the cycle I decided to go on a date with Mr. Artist. This one was found with the help of my secretary (roommate). While scouring the internet for me she came across this guy and shot him a message. He's someone that prior to the message I had probably continually passed over because something about him didn't just grab me. Well, thank goodness my roommate gives a variety of men chances and I ended up going on a date with him. And you know what, it actually turned out to be a way better date than I was expecting. He didn't create that initial spark for me but what he did do was introduce me to a type of guy who is incredibly kind and sincere. Something I so often pass right by. So it surprised me that while on the date he asked if I would like to go on a second date to the art gallery with him and I found myself saying yes. Maybe dating him will work out, or maybe it won't, but what I do know is that I have to give my old type a rest and try something new.